I'll Die First
by Persephone Rosamunde
Summary: *Spoilers for Manga* In an attempt to get his Fighter back, Ritsuka sets up a meeting with Seimei. When Ritsuka refuses to join his older brother, Seimei does the unthinkable: he orders Soubi to kill Ritsuka...


**Spoilers**: Takes place after recent manga events (so if you haven't read through chapter 110 I advise doing that before reading this)

**Summary**: Wanting his Fighter back, Ritsuka challenges Seimei in a spell fight. Seimei makes the order Soubi most fears: to kill Ritsuka.

Assumed Soubi/Ritsuka

Don't leave me loveless...please review?

* * *

The two brothers stood in the darkened graveyard. The eldest was tall with broad shoulders and a confident air about him. The younger brother was small and hesitant; even though his mind had been made up this was still the brother who had just days ago still been the perfect person in his eyes. The two shared simpler characteristics, dark hair with pointed cat ears, long black tails, and eyes of the purest amethyst. But while the younger brother's eyes were filled with heartbreak and innocence, the older brother's were cold and cunning, sparkling with a slight cross between amusement and annoyance at the younger one's defiance.

This was the very place where they had last met, where the war between the two had been declared. Where the trust had been broken and the truth finally revealed. It was only fitting that everything end in this same place. But neither had come alone. Two individuals flanked each brother. Behind the younger brother, a boy with short reddish brown hair, with an eye patch covering an injury of his own doing; and another boy with long, light bluish-green hair. The two, a Zero team known by the individual names of Natsuo and Youji respectively, glared at their foe. Behind the older brother, a man with hair just as dark as his Sacrifice's was glaring with a deep hatred at the younger brother. This was Nisei the rightful Fighter to the older brother, known by the true name: Beloved. The other- and slightly reluctant- man behind the older brother looked anywhere but at the young boy he would soon be fighting against, knowing his deepest fears were soon to come to life, Soubi just wanted the younger boy to make it out alive.

"Don't you love me anymore, Ritsuka?" the older brother asked.

Ritsuka's hands clenched into fists at his sides. "Seimei…"

"You're going to choose them, over me?" Seimei continued. "I came back for you. There is no one else that matters to me more than you. Come with me, Ritsuka. It won't have to be like this between us. You could become just as strong as I am, a powerful Sacrifice who is never defeated. You and I are not that different Ritsuka."

"I'm nothing like you!" Ritsuka shouted. "You're heartless! And cruel! You blinded Ritsu-sensei! You killed someone to fake your own death! You took…you took Soubi from me! I don't want to be anything like you!"

Upon hearing his name, Soubi's eyes finally focused toward Ritsuka.

"And here I hoped we could be together again," Seimei mused. "I was planning to teach you everything I know."

"I won't go with you. We came here to stop you and get Soubi back. Please, Seimei, don't do this."

"If you want a fight, Loveless, I don't see how you can do so without a Fighter."

"He doesn't need a fighter," Youji said. "He has us."

Seimei ignored them. "Well, Ritsuka?"

"Let Soubi fight for me," Ritsuka said. "If he and I win, you release him."

"Ritsuka, don't," Soubi said.

"Silence!" Seimei yelled. "And if Nisei and I win?"

"Soubi is still yours," Ritsuka answered, "and I'll go with you."

"No!" Natsuo and Youji protested.

"You can't!" Natsuo said.

"Are you insane?" Youji added.

Seimei smiled. "Alright. Soubi, go."

Soubi fought his will to obey for a moment before giving in to stand by Ritsuka's side.

"Ritsuka, leave before it's too late," Soubi begged.

"All we have to do is win, you never lose," Ritsuka said.

"It's not that simple."

_There must be something,_ Soubi thought._ My mind, my soul, my heart has always been waiting for Ritsuka. But I cannot disobey Seimei. Things would be different if I had been Ritsuka's Fighter to begin with._

The dagger in the inner pocket of his jacket, placed there by Seimei, felt heavier now than ever before. The manipulative Sacrifice wanted to be prepared for anything, including the possibility that his young brother had finally seen through his clever facade and would fight against him. Beloved's true Fighter had been all too happy to go along with the plan. Soubi, while silent, had wanted nothing more than to beg the Sacrifice to reconsider. After all, murdering his own younger brother was a bit drastic even for the sadistic young man, especially since Ritsuka was the only one Seimei could even pretend to care for.

Of course this would be much easier if Seimei were to commit the act himself. It seemed the teen had no conscience, and he would not have the struggles Soubi was currently facing. The Fighter knew there was more to Seimei's choice, if he didn't want to kill his brother himself Nisei would have gladly volunteered. But no, this was a way to cause Soubi the greatest pain imaginable. This was the one act that would certainly destroy Soubi's soul.

"Soubi?" Ritsuka called.

"Get out of here," Soubi begged. "Run away. Even just go back to the protection of the Septimal Moon Academy. Let those two protect you, and go."

"I'm not leaving you behind. Seimei won't win."

"You forgot one minor detail, little brother," Seimei said. "Soubi still listens to my command above yours."

Ritsuka stared at Soubi, not used to seeing the man look so terrified.

"Soubi, I order you to kill Ritsuka."

Nisei smiled, watching in far too much excitement as the event he had been waiting for began to play out. It was no secret that the true Beloved Fighter wanted nothing more than any competition for his master's attention destroyed. With Ritsuka dead, the blank Fighter would fall into such a deep despair that he would die soon after. Already the blonde was a mere shell of a human without Ritsuka. Then Nisei himself would be Seimei's only companion.

_Seimei planned this all along,_ Ritsuka realized. _Soubi was trying to warn me._

Ritsuka suddenly found himself being pulled away from the Fighter. Natsuo and Youji put themselves between him and Soubi, who had at some point taken out the dagger.

"Soubi…"

"_Ritsuka!" Soubi shouted, running up to the younger boy who stepped back in fear._

"_Thank goodness," Soubi said. "I've been worried because I haven't been able to get through to you on your cell phone." He suddenly realized the worry in Ritsuka's face. "What's wrong?"_

_Ritsuka looked up. "Nothing," he said, turning away again._

_The two began to walk towards Ritsuka's home, knowing the boy would already be in trouble for being out so late. Somewhere along the way, Soubi managed to convince the truth out of Ritsuka. And the Sacrifice finally explained the haunting dream that he did not believe he would ever forget._

"_A dream, Ritsuka," Soubi reassured him. "It was all a dream."_

"_I know that!" Ritsuka exclaimed._

_The two continued walking in silence, with each step Soubi got farther and farther ahead until Ritsuka finally came to a stop._

"_Soubi," he began before hesitating a moment. "If…Seimei came back to life…if he ordered you to kill me…what would you do?"_

_The Fighter looked to him in surprise._

"_Seimei is dead," he finally said._

"_That's why I said 'if'!" Ritsuka shouted, pulling at Soubi's shirt. "If Seimei ordered you to…answer me! You'd kill me, wouldn't you?"_

"_Probably," Soubi admitted, looking away._

_Tears sprang into Ritsuka's eyes. "I knew it."_

_Before Soubi could react the younger boy ran past him. Quickly turning, Soubi grabbed Ritsuka's wrist and pulled him against his chest. Ritsuka struggled against the older man._

"_What? Let go of me!" Ritsuka exclaimed, continuing his attempts to get away._

"_That's not it. Listen to me!" Soubi begged._

"_I don't want to listen to your excuses!"_

"_If such a day comes…I'll die first."_

_Ritsuka's eyes widened. "Soubi…"_

"_A life without you, Ritsuka…to me that…"_

"_Idiot," Ritsuka muttered, burrowing into his Fighter's chest._

"_I'll die first."_

"Soubi," Ritsuka said, those three words echoing in his head.

Somewhat apologetically, after all the two had somewhat worked their way into Soubi's good graces, Soubi shoved them aside. He said something too low for the two to hear.

"_I'll die first."_

The two exchanged a glance, and Ritsuka could almost see the unspoken conversation occurring between them. Without warning the two joined hands and ran off, disappearing into the fog of the cemetery.

"_I'll die first."_

Soubi approached Ritsuka slowly, as if approaching a creature he knew would run when he got too close. Ritsuka was frozen, hoping that Soubi would not really live up to those words.

"_I'll die first."_

"Soubi," Ritsuka whispered.

Soubi took another step forward, and he met Ritsuka's trusting yet terrified eyes. The Fighter leaned forward, kissing the boy with every bit of passion he had. Ritsuka savored the familiar moment before he felt Soubi fall from his grasp, the dagger having pierced his own heart. There was a loud cry that Ritsuka wouldn't realize until later on was his own, and the dying Fighter found himself being pulled into his Sacrifice's arms as if the boy thought simply holding him would keep him there.

"Ritsuka, I love you."

* * *

"Soubi!" Ritsuka bolted up in bed.

His breathing was heavy for a moment as he slowly took in his surroundings. He was no longer in the graveyard, but a familiar moonlit bedroom that he shared with his Fighter. The dream had been nothing more than a distant memory to the now-nineteen year old Sacrifice. Seimei and the true Beloved Fighter had been sentenced to death by Septimal Moon, though how the school had that amount of power Ritsuka still didn't know. And Soubi…

_Where is Soubi? _Ritsuka wondered.

He looked around the room, finding he was alone. The sheets on the other side of the bed had been moved, but were cool, as if Soubi himself had woken up and left the room quite some time ago. Ritsuka slowly got out of bed. He was no longer the small child of so many years ago, but had grown into a full adult, loss of ears and all. In all truth he did look exactly like his brother. The only exception was that rather than a dark "Beloved" on the back of his hand, there was a simple "Loveless" written over his heart. The name hadn't always been there. In fact, it hadn't appeared until Ritsuka overcame his fear of ceasing to exist, when he accepted his life for what it was, and stepped forward as a Sacrifice. And Soubi had been all too willing to join him.

His thoughts on the older man, he left the bedroom to find the blonde painting by the window in the main room of the apartment. Though the lights were off, the room was sufficiently lit with the bright light of the night. Soubi paused in his painting, still not noticing Ritsuka behind him. The dark butterfly he had just painted was made with such a perfection it seemed to be resting on the canvas. The artist set down his paintbrush, turning his focus to the dark streets below. Ritsuka took this as his chance to walk over and take the arm of his lover.

"Soubi?" he gently whispered.

The Fighter suddenly glanced down at him; though Ritsuka had grown the blonde still had the slight advantage of height.

"Ritsuka, why are you awake?" Soubi asked.

"I could ask you the same thing," Ritsuka replied. "Soubi?"

"You should go to bed."

"Not unless you come too," Ritsuka said stubbornly.

Soubi stared at him for a moment before nodding and letting Ritsuka lead him back into the bedroom. As they lay down Ritsuka moved to put his head on Soubi's chest, feeling his lover's arms tighten around him. The 'Beloved' that had been carved into the Fighter's collarbone had finally faded away to the point one had to look very closely to see it. But this scar no longer matter, no longer held any meaning to the masochistic Fighter. Ritsuka's fingers traced another scar, the wound that had nearly taken Soubi from his arms forever, and it would have had the Zero pair not intercepted the group Septimal Moon had sent to help, but in the end this wound had allowed him to be reborn to escape the bond Seimei had held over him for so long. Intercepting this tell-tale marking, the curves of the name 'Loveless' had appeared, right over the heart that Ritsuka had long ago claimed.

"Ritsuka," Soubi whispered.

The Sacrifice pulled up to look into the blue eyes. Gently, he leaned forward, pressing his lips to Soubi's. There was no threat; neither of the two was dying. Yet they clung to each other as afraid everything was a perfect dream they would soon wake up from. As if nothing was real at all.

"Soubi, I love you."


End file.
